I havent really done anything this weekend other than Omi’s party. It was a crazy night and nice to have a piss up like the old days as well as meet some new girls which have already decided they want future piss ups. was a mega night where we was all hammered. me and kelly went on a secret mission and got more drunk than we should have because of it but thats part of the fun. Song of the night was definitly Torn as a ladyboy was singing it on bigboxtv. I really am going to have to try and get friday nights off so we can all do it more often.

On that note you may have guessed I have finally got a job:D. Its on the checkouts at morrisons which is perfect for me really as no running around and lifting to hurt my back more. Im going to cane the overtime and sort out my debts and driving, and save for Ibiza next year. I dont know if the doctor would want me working yet but if I stay at home all the time any longer i will scream.

Ive also stuck to not going down mansfield much which I can already tell the difference in my money. Im starting to prefer random cheap nights these days or nights out somewhere different. Me and Lou are making a A-Z list of places to go and going to try and do them. Im quite looking forward to the next few months and hoping I stick to all the things Ive promised my self. till thee next time x x

Well ya know when Im bored when I actually write on this thing. I was contemplatng going to bed as I was rather tired but got a phonecall which woke me back up. Just for a change the gals have been fighting in town. Not with randoms but against each other. Girls that were best mates 6 weeks ago and even went on holiday together. Its starting to piss me right off that I cant seem to go out anymore without feeling that the other side will be talking about me because im with the other. Suppose its a good job ive decided not to go town for a while unless its for a good reason.

Last friday was Sammy’s 18th birthday party so happy birthday for last week babe. Was an amazing party and was great to see people all in one place that I dont see often enough. Me and Callie ended up down Sutton which usually I hate but I had a really good night and seeing people I been dying to see and talk to for ages. We didnt get in till 5 so thats when ya know its been a good night.

Saturday me and Beck went to Matts flat to see all the uni lads (Joe,Az,Matt,Mark)and met a few of Matts mates that were mint, and then down Notts for gatecrasher opening. Gatecrasher was that packed that we didnt get in so we ended up in Stealth which was diabolical. When we got back to Matts a 6ft plantpot was knocked off his balcony which was pretty amusing at the time. Was really good seeing them all after the summer as they are all mint so I bet Beck was loving life.

Had Libby again this week aswell and she was pretty misbehaved all day and night, and I was ill so that made it much worse.

Todays Omi’s 18th Birthday and Carolines 19th birthday so Happy Birthday:D Going to omi’s tonight with a few of the gals for a good old fashioned piss up. looking forward to it as we havent all had one for a while. Even turned down a party at Julies bar and Carolines 19th in Loughboro. Sorry guuuuuys.

Till next time xx

Me and Gemma was talking about OCD’s the other day and how you don’t click you have them till you really think about it. We came up with I need all pictures on walls straight, I need things symetrical if I have 2 things the same, all mantlepeices have to be symetrical or i stress. Me and Gemma both had toilet paper has to be over the top on holders and not under and she has a fear of odd numbers on cd players but can cope with 5’s which is what started the topic as Beck also has this. Kirky has to check doors locked about 10 times, make sure taps are tight, pens have to be parellel in draws, check the time on the phone before going to bed which I also have to do. Im gonna ask some people and keep blogging them as I find them quite funny how no-one usually notices they have them. Anyone else got any? x

There seems to be sooo many birthdays today. So Happy 18th Birthday Sammy and Shaz! theres a few other people i know as well with birthdays so happy birthday to them all.

Cant belive Sammys 18:| i thought they would all stay my year 10’s forever and ever but they all big girls now:O looking forward to sammys party on friday should be good:)

In other news matts done something to his foot and is now the proud owner of a pink plaster cast around his leg for 6 weeks. Even though only halfs bright pink the rest is light pink. Im sure you’ll get bored of the pink matthew haha. And it needs to heal quick or we’ll miss nights out:(

Its gatecrasher opening saturday in notts so im going to that with Beck and lads she went to uni with. Always have a good night with them and Beck so it should be mint:D Ill update you after the weekend:D x x x

Well today i finally got round to putting up my wardrobe so ive been tidying my room. I had been reading all my random documents on the laptop and had found a old argeument with my dad which made me have a few thoughts. Half hour later what do i find? His Cd. Seems strange still after the past 20 months that the past 20 months have happened. Only seemed like last week that I read that first email when he found me. Now 20 months later I feel that I would have felt alot better never knowing him. He says he cared and always did. So where was my birthday wishes this month?

Families are funny things.In my eyes I have 3 familys. My mums side, my dads side and my old stepdads side. And the ones I have more to do with are my old stepdads family which are amazing. I actually feel a part of that family, something I have never felt with my real family. My mums side consists of a stepgrandad I never get to see, a nana that meant the world to me that has passed away, 2 aunties, Julie which died years ago and Sandra that is missing in Australia and a dumb uncle Mike who I cant abide. The only person I see is Julies daughter Cheryl. So you can imagine I thought I had hit the jackpot when I finally met my dad. Finally after all these years I had a dad, nana, auntie,uncle and cousin. It took a hell of a lot of courage as a 17 year old to go behind my mums back and go and meet a man I didnt even know. It was the hardest and scariest moment in my entire life and until your in the same situation where your meeting the dad you havent seen in 13 years its hard to imagine how hard it really is. And after all the guts and effort to try and be involved in this family it wasnt meant to be. Me and Kelly became best mates at first but by the time my 18th birthday came only 8 months on no-one cared. I cant help but think maybe they expected someone else? That I was the complete opposite to what they imagined I would be? Or maybe they was all happy with their little family that they didnt need another “Lockhart” joining the clan? Its alot of maybes and probably things I will never find out.

This song seems to sum everything up really http://youtube.com/watch?v=5etnQe_5TVw

None of my little ramblings probably make sense but it is 2.15am and my head is feeling a little messed up. Plus its MY blog so who cares lol.  Well im going to to sleep now and hope none of this pops up in the weird dreams I usually have. Night x

well i aint really done anything this week other than go out. it was bank holiday sunday last week and we all went down town. was strange that most of the girls were together but it was great and had a mint night. i have never seen mansfield as packed as it was though in my entire life. LJ made my night with the dumb comments she feels the need to come out with like -

“i didnt even want any chips i dint even eat um i kept rammin them in faces and chucking them on the floor. what i really wanted was a chinese, with egg fried rice and chow mein and prawn crackers and everything but no body would BLOODY LET ME! and its your fault jasmin you wouldnt let me have my chinese so then i had to go “jooooeee i want some chips” so then i got the chips cos i needed the chips and ate all the chips”

she does make my night sometimes with things like that. we fell asleep laughing and woke up laughing. i love them nights.

Last night me and Louise went into leeds for a night out and stayed in a hotel. lou paid for it all as she felt she needed to make up for missing my birthday. she didnt need to, i understood but anyway we had a mega night which consisted of getting uber drunk and lou fell down stairs at the start of the night. we also ended up in the gay area half the night. so thanks louise for a mega night. thats about all ive done this week. im sure ill have more stories next weekend